12th December 2022, Monday

Ghatiya din

Subah utha, boht hi vichitra sapna tha, dimaag kharab hogaya.

Apne upar gussa aya

Tayyar hua

Kuch bhi pehn ne ka socha dull types

College gaya

9:07 pohocha koi nahi aaya tha

9:12 still no one, tyagi ma'am came to check number of  students.

9:15 rinki came

9:17 neha came

After that shriti, muskan, rama, came.

Then jo bhi aya chala gaya. Lab mai sirf mai, rinki, shriti, aryan bache the.

Centrifugal pump wala firse karna ka nirnya liya. Kiya fir

Par fir 10am ma'am aayin, neeru ma'am... Unhon ebataya we did wrong... And ham, last week lab mai khush the ki sahi hai...

Fir sahi readings li...

Pura lab paani paani hogaya

Paani ki barbaadi as always in FM lab

All equipments leaky

11:05 lab se bahar nikle 

Harshit/rinki ko call Kiya par nahi uthaya, called so they can take away their bags. 

Aarja mili, kaha ki expt aaj konsa Kiya, bataya Maine ki pump Kiya. Usne kaha mujhe batado, Maine jaakr procédure explain kardiya lab jakar.

I came out then.

Had got a call+msg from aakriti. She had gone to vrindavan. Hence I assumed would be tired and hence not came to college. And that was the case. Pain in legs.

I called her, she asked about FM Lab, I asked about her journey, then as usual, no topics to chat left I guess let's say it this way, clearly not interested to talk, illogical chats begin. And end.

I wander one more round. Reach b block.

Meet neha shriti. Have again lil chit chat.

Meet rinki. Had chat then meet Harshit, ghanishth bhaiya. I usually greet my batch mates with phrase like "hello hello hello" or "namaste" and with right hand on my chest.

Neha said why this much respect to her only, I said ki I dk for everyone and gave example of greeting to harshit as he was standing besides me. He replied ki I don't care, jiski namaste chahiye hoti hai, mai le leta hun. I then said hmm, humari value hi nahi hai bhyi and convo ended with him giving me a light hug and walking away for his errands. Too busy as explained earlier.

I then finally recieve msg of Varun bhaiya/sir under whom I am learning goniometer. After taking about heights, Jac, college, mobiles, DC, etc. I bid farewell to people I was standing with.

I go to lab and start lab work. I tried the goniometer first time today. Took reading as trial and was quite nice.

Then I bid a momentarily bye to him(only from my side) went to have lunch

Had lunch in garden in sunlight

Surprisingly dog did not come to eat near me, it did come but passed by...

Got a call from neha that not coming for FM class?? Actually rinki had fixated the class with neeru ma'am after a lot of convos with her I guess so...

I reached class, literally very few students, me and 5 girl students.

Ma'am came, saw strength, got lil dejected sad, discussed paper, got even more deje Ted, advised to practice a lotttttttt.

And left.

I took my guava tiffin box and went to eat. again met ghanishth bhaiya, had lil convo, reached class again

He came in and sat with students.

Everyone discussing something. I acting very strange

I think maybe proudy

Or arrogant or very strange.

Did not feel like myself

Bhaiya said you doing other things a lot and not study hence the minor result.

(Now lets just skip this part.) 

Now Thermo also cancelled.

Now after getting a good suggestion from Neha, I went to angira sir ro ask if he can take class earlier as Thermo hot cancelled. He was checking papers, he said class cancel go home.

Above Msg circulated by CR in grp.

Classes over.

I took my bag and went to room 215. 

Did work on goniometer, learnt a few things. 

Cleaned lil bit lab

Locked it. 

Came out. 

It was around 5:47pm

Was feeling like talking to someone, so called aakriti, but the convo again was one sided. The call ended after 3 minutes. Nothing good interesting was conversed expect that she got number of ananya pandey ce 4th year from me during call. 

I waled home sad as always 

Thinking same things

Getting sad over same issues

Knowing I am getting sad still getting sad

Overthinking. 

Thinking

Hating on my self

No skills

No friends that consider me also as their bffs

Literally none to talk to

If I want, they just say ya bro, we here but not really there... 

Anyways reached society main gate, teary eyed.

Then went home

Got ready for chess team trials

Failed miserably

As expected

Got 1 bye win

1 win over a player who had just started playing.

And 1 draw in a completely lost posn. XDDDDDD mere saath hota tha ki mai winning posn mai hota tha and i would lose or draw and today opp happened... 

Then came last three rounds.

And funniest thing

I got all 3 top players of our main campus...

Lol

XD

Hahahahahaha

I got kartikey bhaiya, I played 1.a4 2.h4 3.Ra3 4.Rh3

Surely it was a bit disrespect towards him and chess also but I am stupid dumb average lol. Faltu bhyi kya hi krta mai xD...

Hé Ofc defeated me.

Similarly did faltu opening with harshit nad prashant bhaiya they also defeated me.

Then I came second last in trials.

Samarth bhaiya asked me to volunteer in this sport meet chess tourney I said OK as he said he was counting on me and so on but it hunk he should be ready for a trust break as I don't think I will be able to do anything...

In college rinki told me that asmp had veen dissolved and is going to merge with a higher body, so one recommendation was asked from everyone, she took my name.

I was honoured and thanked her.

A person like me there.

But yeah maybe I would be not selected or maybe kicked but atleast let's see what happens... Grateful to her of thinking about me when nobody does bhyi. Maybe everyone else was busy XD.

She asked my skillset and......

I don't have any skills bhyi...

Kya hi Karun faltu bhyi...

Aur fir ab mai yeh likh raha hun 10:12pm

Going for dinner...

Now time waste and then

Sabko gussa karna

And now good night...

No padhai done...